ESPN has been pumping up “The Bronx is Burning” for weeks now, so I decided to review the first of eight episodes. My first thought is why is shit always burning? First “Rome is Burning”, then Sebastian Telfair is walking “Through the Fire”, and now the Bronx is burning. ESPN really needs to find a new writer. What’s next? A story about the Rangers called “The Garden is Ablaze”? That would present a real problem since they need ice and all.

The opening video features a fast forward two years in the future at the end of Billy Martin's tenure. The whole sequence features splicing of real and acted clips. The continuity is good, but the video quality is drastically different between the 30 year old film and the current hi-def. This makes it a little hard to believe but there really is not much they can do.

John Turturro is playing Billy Martin, and I’m not so sure I get all the fuss about him. He is always overacting and seems like more of a caricature of Martin, just like he did as Howard Cossel. He is also leading off and playing center field for my “Why are the famous” team. Further teammates will join, but no doubt John is leading off. He has an impressive lineup of roles but in none of those was he like “wow” good. I just don’t get it. When people mention he is in a movie you are led to believe he is some big star, but he has never really played a role that made him an A-lister.

The opening credits are absolutely hilarious. It is Good Times meets a porno and by far this is the funniest part of the show. DYNOMITE. I’m not sure if the credits cheapened the show or added to the setting, but they certainly stand out.

Early in the episode George Steinbrenner meets with Reggie Jackson at the 21 Club in New York. I had one of those “Oh, I know where that is” moments. I stayed close to the restaurant and have walked right by it. The restaurant is also featured in “Two for the Money” when John Anthony meets the real Brandon Lang. If that isn’t significant to you, don’t worry- it’s a gambling thing.

Next up- a message from the heavens. For whatever reason I decided to not fast forward through the first commercial break on my DVR, and good thing I didn’t. To my amazement, there was a commercial for Mountain Dew featuring the “Chuck-Strich”. That’s right, Chuck Norris’ head on an ostrich. Glad to see Chuck is finally cashing in on all the Chuck Norris hype, but he’s a little late. It reached its pinnacle about a year ago with “Chuck Norris has two speeds: walk and kill”. He should have done a commercial acting some of these facts out- that’s what I would have done with Chuck. Hmm maybe he can promote Not The Game. Chuck Norris reads two blogs: Not The Game, and a second blog he can’t tell you because he would have to kill you. OK, maybe it needs work. Moving on.

I also want to take this time to point out Jason Giambi’s awkward cameo as a cab driver. His name was in the opening credits so it wasn’t a surprise, but I was still delightfully giddy at the sight of a former MVP playing a cabbie in a B-list TV mini-series about his own team. This seems like a good time to mentions OJ’s fro in Naked Gun. The best sports player appearance in a movie- ever.

As far as acting goes, ESPN Original Entertainment, or EOE as they like to call it, is always marred by horrible acting. Maybe it is because we know the personalities they are playing so well, that any acting seems like a caricature. I don’t know but I’m not sold on John Turturro’s performance. Reggie Jackson is well duplicated in the movie, but that is about it.

The storyline is good and fast paced, but the scenes about the Son of Sam seem like a forced necessity to create context for the film. It just doesn’t flow naturally. That being said, the show keeps you entertained and you can’t help but laugh at George Steinbrenner. We’ll have to see the rest of the series to give a final determination, but right now I’m giving it a Jamie Moyer- 5 ½ out of 10 K’s. Solid, but not overpowering.

K K K K K 1/2