Thanks to Sportslogos.net for these. A site that tickles the inner geek in all of us.
There are three types of sports fans: those who have HD setups and know how to get the most out of them, those who have HD setups and don't have a clue on how to work them, and those who don't have HD setups.
Unfortunately, most people fall into the latter two categories. Stop me if you have seen this guy before:
This Guy: Yeah, thats my 42 inch plasma, got it at Best Buy.
(This is usually said with chest puffed out, arms at the sides- slightly bent at the elbows like he was just at the gym, and head tilted at a 22 degree angle. During mid sentence, he points with index finger and thumb in shape of a gun, toward tv, seemingly allowing the head nod to pull the arm forward)
Friend of "this guy": Wow, is that Hi-Def?
This Guy: Ah, well, its not technically Hi-Def, but its wide screen.
(In some circles this is known as "little fucking picture, stretched out to big fucking proportions")
Friend of "this guy": Why didn't you get Hi-Def?
This Guy: Well, it is a Hi-Def tv, but I didn't get the service. Look how bright the colors are! The picture looks good without it, I can't even tell the difference.
YOU NEVER WANT TO BE THIS GUY. And, I'm going to tell you how not to be.
First, lets go over what HD is.
Resolution
It is all based on resolution, the higher the resolution, the better the picture. There are three types:
480- This is your standard resolution found on tv's for the past 20 years.
720- This begins HD resolution, adding a noticeable difference to the picture detail.
1080- This is the highest HD resolution there is, giving the picture a noticeable bump up over 720.
Basically, HD is anything broadcast in 720 or 1080.
Picture Size
There are two picture ratios for tv:
4:3- 4 units wide, to 3 units high
16:9- 16 units wide, to 9 units high
Anything that is broadcast in HD will be broadcast in 16:9. This means that there is actually more to see on the sides of the screens. Do not confuse this with a wide screen tv that takes a regular 4:3 (almost a square) image, and then stretches it out to fill a wider screen. This does not add any image to the sides, it just stretches out the original image, making it distorted and causing it to lose picture quality. You will see this a lot at bars that have wide screen tvs and don't want to pay for the HD service. It makes the picture bigger, but up close looks blurry.
Image Processing
There are two types of image processing:
Interlaced or i- The tv shoots the even numberd lines at the screen, and the odd numbered lines at the screen a split second later. On regular 480 tvs this is not an issue as the resolution is not high enough to notice, but on HD tvs the difference is noticeable. It will cause anything with a lot of motion to become slightly blurred because half of the image is a split second ahead of the other half.
Progressive Scan or p- The tv shoots the entire image at the screen at once. Allowing shows with a lot of motion to still remain sharp because the image is consistent.
So, how does all this relate?
ALL HD shows will be broadcast in 16:9, so no need to further explain that. There are currently four types of outputs you could be watching. Three of which are HD.
480i- your standard tv, with 480 resolution and interlaced picture (some DVD players will have 480P, as do some Fox Saturday Baseball Games)
720p- HD tv with 720 resolution and a progressive scan picture
1080i- HD tv with 1080 resolution and an interlaced picture
1080p- a new technology that allows the highest resolution, 1080i, to be combined with the clear, progressive scan image
___________
How to know what you're watching?
Here is what some networks broadcast in HD.
ESPN- 720p
Fox- 720p
ABC- 720p
FSN- 720p
CBS- 1080i
NBC- 180i
Comcast Sportsnet- 1080i
Inhd-1080i
DHDTV-1080i
MHD-1080i
Networks will not be broadcasting in 1080p for a few years, but HD DVD players and some video game machine's can.
Which is better for sports?
Personally I prefer 1080i. Some say that 720p is better because it allows for a lot of motion (which sports has) to not appear without blur on the screen. The only time you can really notice the blur; however, is watching something wiz by the screen- like Nascar or a quick camera movement in a football game. 1080i gives a much more detailed picture, and 90% of the time when there is no fast movement, really makes the picture standout.
How can you decide for yourself?
Watch a football game on CBS (1080i), then switch to a football game on Fox (720p), and see what image you prefer.
_______________
Now you know what HD is, and its different properties. But how do you set it up?
TVS
LCD- Common in HD tvs that are under 37". They have been used on computer screens for years, and have a good track record. They are able to produce higher resolution, true 1080 pictures. Their only downfall is color saturation. There is one light that projects onto the picture on the screen. Because of this, black and dark greens are not as deep as on a plasma tv because there is always some light shining through. They do, however, not get images burned into them- which is good if you play video games or watch a channel that has a ticker in the same spot all of the time.
Plasma- Common in HD tvs that are over 37". A slightly less reliable track record than LCD's. They are known for being the choice for larger tvs, up to 65 inches. They have the ability to produce deep colors and eye popping pictures, although their resolution is usually less than that of LCD tvs, meaning that sometimes 1080 pictures are down converted, causing them to lose detail. They are susceptible to burn, but new technology, that constantly moves the image around, has made this highly unlikely. Uses tiny little lights to display image. This lights can burn out individually, but they are hard to notice unless a lot burn out.
DLP- Stands for digital light processing. Seen in larger tvs, with a bit of a back. They are able to produce smooth images using a light chip, but sometimes suffer in image quality and have a "screen" effect across the image. Also, they are not flat screen.
CRT- Is a "full bodied" tv. These tvs, while slightly outdated, produce some of the best pictures with the deepest colors. They are usually smaller, under 42" and extremely heavy.
Obviously, with tvs, you will want to look at their ability to produce 720p and 1080i, as well as their size, and also the contrast ratio in colors. The higher the ratio, the deeper the colors. For instance 10000:1 is better than 100:1.
Service
If you have cable or satellite you can pay extra (about $10 a month) for the HD service. If your tv has a tuner built in, all you will need is a cable card from the cable company. These cards, however, don't give you access to on-demand, tv guide, and dvr functions that many cable boxes have. Its recommended that you rent a cable box for about $5 a month to go along with the HD service. HD channels are separate from their regular channel counterpart. Programming is the same however, and you can watch a non HD show on an HD channel. In fact, it will usually still look better because it is a digital image.
Wires
If you are using a cable card, you simply plug the cable wire into your tv. If you are using a cable box, you have several choices in wires to connect your box to your tv for HD output: HDMI (highest quality), DVI (high quality), Component (High quality, but less than the other two). S video and RGA do not output in HD, so beware.
HDMI and DVI use a single wire to prevent noise from entering the picture. Component cables, use three wires that transfer the picture. In all 3 choices, HDMI, DVI, and Component, you will get what you pay for. Recommend brands are Monster and Pure AV. A good wire will run about $80, but its worth it to get the best possible picture out of your set up.
For sound, you have the option of 5.1 surround sound for almost all HD broadcasts. You will need a receiver and the appropriate speakers. A good in box set will run you about $250, I recommend these Panasonic speakers.
To hook up your tv or cable box to the receiver, you have two choices: a coaxial wire or an optical wire. This will allow for digital sound to be played. Optical is the highest possible quality, but you can't go wrong either way. Again, you get what you pay for.
Make sure your stereo is set to "Dolby Digital", "5.1", or "Digital", do not set to "Hall" or "Stereo" as this will not separate the sounds into individual channels. 5.1 surround sound will give you the voice in the center, with other sounds coming from the other speakers.
How to Watch
Make sure you are in a room that is well lit, but not too bright. One or two lamps will do. Your tv should not be in direct sun light, or right in front of a window, as this will cause glare and shadow like effects. Be especially careful while watching football in the fall, since the sun in lower on the horizon and more likely to cause a glare.
Finally, invite some friends over, have a beer, and enjoy.
Hogwild did a story on the hottest sports wives. A good read, although Eva Longoria was left off the list.
read more | digg story
The Braves have traded for Mark Teixeira and pitcher Ron Mahay in exchange for Jarrod Saltalamacchia, Elvis Andrus and two pitching prospects. As a Phillies fan, this worries me. This may be the only blockbuster of the trading deadline.
I'm sure Roger Goodell will love this. Pacman Jones to wrestle in TNA Wrestling Federation.
Slow weekend in sports really. I would like to pat myself on the back for accurately predicting the pinning and immediate movement of Chase Utley's hand.
Other news from around the sports world:
-MLB Rumors is running a story that Jose Canseco is accusing Alex Rodriguez of using steroids. I'm sure ESPN will run with this.
-Referee Joey Crawford wants to meet with David Stern to discuss his suspension for ejecting Tim Duncan from a game in April. Reports say Stern is ready to lift the suspension.
-ESPN is reporting that the Celtics and Timberwolves are close on a deal that would send Kevin Garnett to the Celtics in exchange for Al Jefferson and Theo Ratliff. Right now, it seems like Garnett is the only roadblock as he does not want to go to Boston. Although, he is warming to the idea, sources say.
-And some news from my Alma-Mater, Not The Game correspondant, Jim Metaxas reports: "Recent Villanova basketball alum Mike Nardi was spotted this past weekend at the La Costa bar in Sea Isle, NJ. Nardi who helped lead Nova to three NCAA tournaments from 2005-2007, plans to play professional basketball in Italy this fall. As a testament to his conditioning and health, Mike abstained from drinking the whole night. Best of luck to Mike on his future."
What to expect this week from Not The Game?
We will be doing our first "How To" article on enjoying sports in HD. Along with that you can expect to see my first "Fantasy Football Diary", taking you inside the process of picking a winning team. Also, we will have a halfway review of the "Bronx is Burning". And as always, news, links, and pithy comments.
With Michael Vick being indicted, Tim Donaghy be investigated for betting on games he was officiating, steroids, two dead coaches, and arrests, could this have been the worst sports week ever? It seems like soccer had the only bright spot, with the introduction of David Beckham to American soccer. Great, soccer is having the best sports week in America. Like I said before, the sports world turneth upside down.
Congressman wants to meet with David Stern. The guys at Slam Dunk Central think there are more important things for congress to do, and you know what? They're right. Even though sports is extremely important to you and me, there are other more pressing concerns in the world.
Dodgers GM Ned Colletti is interested in signing Harry Potter. I hear he has special powers, but I'm interested in Hermoine, for other reasons...
Thanks to Yanks and Sox Fan as well as Deadspin for posting our article on Major League fence dimensions.
Thanks to Operation Sports, Not The Game correspondent Sean Don was able to sit down with Memphis Grizzlies forward Rudy Gay at Rucker Park to discuss the game, playing with two good point guards, and who wears the best suit. Enjoy. More info on the event here.
NTG: What are your favorite video games to play?
Rudy Gay: I consider myself a good dunker, but there are a lot of guys out there who are really athletic and do some crazy things in the air. I can’t say I’m the best at anything like that. My first dunk was in 8th grade going into 9th grade, man that was a great time. It wasn’t that hard.
NTG: Thank you for your time. Much appreciate it.
Rudy Gay: The pleasure’s all mine.
First off all, John Lannan can be the first guy I add to my "Fuck You List" (Thanks to Sports Hernia for the idea), for effectively ending the season of my beloved Phillies. He hit Utley and Howard consecutively and broke Utley's hand in the process. Utley manged to finish the game, which is astounishing considering it was his throwing hand. According to Phillies.com, Utley will see Dr. Randall Culp tomorrow to have his hand further examined. What can he expect from Dr. Culp?
You see, last summer I broke my hand and went to none other than Dr. Culp for surgery. Here is what my wrist looked liked then, after surgery, and now (taking shots of course!). There is a plate and nine screws in there and I can throw a baseball, shoot a basketball, use a screwdriver, and do anything else you can think of with a right wrist. (That's gross, don't think of that).
Dr. Culp is one of the top Doctors for the Philadelphia Hand Center, the areas leading hand, arm, and wrist facilities. Dr. Culp has been written up numerous times in "Philadelphia Magazine" as one of the area's top doctors.
He is very quick and to the point, but he knows his stuff. I'm sure he will spend a little more time with Chase Utley than he did with me, but he was absolutely fantastic. He does not believe in putting people in casts, and seems to prefer to perform surgery and put a pin or a plate to hold the bone in place, so he can get the patient started on rehab right away. Depending on Utley's break, this may be an option. He likes to get the patient moving the hand to get range of motion back more quickly.
He specializes in only the hand and wrist, so he knows what he is doing and Utley will be receiving the best care he can.
As for me, he placed a plate along with nine screws in my wrist, and even picked up on an incorrectly healed broken thumb I had from a month earlier and placed two pins in that for 5 weeks. After surgery he put a half cast on there for a week and then it was removed in favor of a removable plastic cast, so I could start therapy right away. This was in the end of July, and I was done physical therapy by November 1st, and was playing basketball by Christmas.
Obviously, Utley's break is much different, but he is going to absolutely the best doctor for this sort of thing, and if there is any chance he will return this season, Dr. Culp will be the guy to get him to do that.
Michael Vick T-Shirts. hehe
You do not want to get on the wrong side of Peta.
And The Sports Hernia has a great part called FU Corner geared towards certain athletes, very funny.
What structure is needed where a ref can't effect the outcome of the game down the stretch? The structure where he is not on the floor? I understand he is trying to get at a greater theme, but it sounds like he is just trying to get his name in the news.
Love Schill.
On "Costas Now", ya know as opposed to "Costas at a time other than the present"...
"If someone wrote that stuff about me and I didn't sue their [butt] off, am I not admitting that there's some legitimacy to it?"
About Palmeiro- "The year he tested positive, nothing he did that year should count, which I think would take away 3,000 hits for him."
"If I wrote a book about Bob Costas and in that book I wrote about Bob Costas' girlfriend being on the road, and Bob Costas giving that girlfriend card show money and I outlined your daily steroid regimen, I've got to believe your first line of defense is to sue my [butt] off."
Read the whole ESPN.COM article.
On another note, I love Bob Costas, he is an absolutely fantastic baseball announcer, its ashame NBC only has skiing on, oh yeah, and the NHL.
Also, check out Schilling's Blog, 38pitches.com, always a good read.
Ok, this isn't totally sports related, but it involves beer and women, so its close. The busted game is the best. Let me know if you can beat them.
Milwaukee's Best Light
Well it was only a matter of time before people started posting specific games. What I don't get is that a lot of these calls are other officials, so he is implying other officials bet on the game as well. I'm not so sure about that, that is saying a lot, and no one else has been accused.
And the reply...
The guy at the end of the video egging on the baby is absolutely hilarious.
What I want to know, is who films their baby crying?
*I recommend reading the Citizen's Bank Park article first, because it better explains the research.
The gist of my study was that I used Google Earth to measure the distances from home plate to the wall, down the lines and in center field. I made sure Google Earth was correct by measuring the distance from home to the pitchers mound, home to first, and the football field at Lincoln Financial Field. All of those distances were within a foot, so the program is calibrated quite well. I also used some geometry to make sure the distances weren't meant to be to the top of the fence- which I discovered only adds a few inches.
I decided to do this for some other major parks around the league, and what I found is quite interesting.
Yankee Stadium:
Measurements
Left Field- 318 Feet
Center Field- 408 Feet
Right Field- 314 Feet
My Findings
Left Field -308 Feet
Center Field- 404 Feet
Right Field- 308 Feet
(I placed pins to see where the wall is in the right field corner, because the shadow makes it hard to judge)
And just to once again make sure the measurement is correct, here is the distance from home to the pitchers mound. Exactly 60 feet.
Fenway Park:
Measurements
Left Field- 310
Right Field- 302
My Findings
Left Field- 305 Feet
Right Field- 300 Feet
Wrigley Field:
Measurements
Left Field- 355 Feet
Center Field- 400 Feet
My Findings
Left Field- 355 Feet
Center Field- 400 Feet
US Cellular Field:
Measurements
Left Field- 330 Feet
Right Field- 335 Feet
My Findings
Left Field- 326 Feet
Right Field- 334 Feet
Minute Maid Park:
Measurements
Left Field- 315 Feet
Center Field- 435 Feet
My Findings
Left Field- 316 Feet
Center Field- 439 Feet
Now here is where it gets interesting...
Dodger Stadium:
Measurements
Left Field- 330 Feet
Right Field- 330 Feet
My Findings
Left Field- 325 Feet
* After looking at this, I compared it to a picture of the new layout, and it appears as if my marker is in the right place, notice how the foul pole is placed just inside where the fence makes a sharp turn and directly in line with the straight edge of the grass. I also zoomed in on the marker HERE and HERE to make sure of proper positioning. So it appears as if the fence is off by 5 feet, but here is where it gets really weird.
Right Field- 332 Feet
* How is it possible that what is seemingly a perfect arc, can have such a discrepancy in measurements, when my marker is placed as accurately as it can be. I even measured the distance to where first base would be, to make sure the angle in that direction wasn't effecting the distance, but it appears as if that distance is correct.
I'm stumped on this one, but it appears as if the dimensions are slightly off in either direction.
So what does all this mean?
Well, it appears as if some stadiums are grossly short in their official measurements of the walls. Yankee Stadium is off by 10 feet in left field, that is a lot. Fenway Park, which has the most famous left field in baseball, is off by 5 feet. Ironically, Wrigley Field, the oldest ballpark, has the most correct measurements along with Minute Maid Park (which actually underestimated center field, although that hill may play games with the distances). Now, this may or may not have an impact on the distances to the power alleys, but their is really no way to measure that, because the arc could make up for the short lines and because its hard to pinpoint where the exact measurement should be.
Is it a conspiracy theory? No. In cases like Yankee Stadium and Fenway Park, the measurements have been off for years and there is no sense in correcting them. Imagine if the Yankees came out and said, "Actually it is only 308 feet to the left field foul pole, we just realized it after 20 years since the walls were redone." Totally unnecessary. In the case of the Phillies, I think they screwed up to begin with and then, being the secretive organization that they are, they didn't want to admit their mistake. In either case, you wonder what impact some of these distances have had on home runs. If the fence at Yankee Stadium was really 318 feet, how much lower might hone run totals be? We will never know.
A few feet may not seem like a lot, but in a game of inches, it can make all the difference.
Interesting article on livescience.com on how baseball players pick up the ball and track it.
And Science of Baseball has an interesting game to see if you could actually hit a fastball. My best time is .20 seconds. It looks like you need to be in the .2-.3 range to hit the ball. How is your time?
Swing early just for kicks and see what happens.
More baseball goodness.
Since today we are talking a lot about not the game, here is some more relevant "Oh My God America Sucks News" (that was my sarcasm font, nothing wrong with this one). Barry Bonds' ex mistress poses for Playboy. Can you even be an "ex mistress", doesn't mistress imply that you are not really official anyways? Oh well, shes still nude.
I have no problem with this, but we will now hear a year's worth of gambling related controversy. What will come first, the hour-long ESPN special "Blown Calls" or Chris Hansen catching Dick Bavetta with his pants down checking lines on Brandonlang.com?
On a day when one of football's star players is ordered to stay away from his team, an NBA referee is about to turn himself in to the FBI, and the commissioner of baseball refuses to show up to see the breaking of sport's most sacred record, we have have to ask ourselves: what the hell has happened?
Now, I'm not one of these people to say "Oh, athletes are nothing but rich, egotistical, bad examples for our children" or "Oh my god, Americans lack morals because there is so much sex, drugs, and violence in our culture", because, truthfully, other countries are much worse. On a recent trip to Munich I walked down a street lined with strip clubs that have posters of naked women on the OUTSIDE of the building. In Italy, after midnight, the local cable channel displayed live sex chats with women stripping based on the um, feedback of their callers. So I will not sit here and say "America is so awful", because its not, Europe is much worse. That being said, our culture's most important distraction, sports, has become the very thing it tries too distract us from.
Suddenly, the view of Barry Bond's alleged use of steroids as a despicable act takes a backseat to smashing a dog on the pavement. Needling up, to keep up with the Jones', pales in comparison to intentionally calling fouls to drive up the score. In any case, the three major sports all have a serious PR problem right now.
Vick, has the most serious of allegations. Dog fighting is one thing, but the fact that he would execute dogs that would not win him fights, is absolutely cruel and disturbing. Drowning, electrocution, and blunt force violence were his methods of making roster cuts. Makes the red tag Jake Taylor received in "Major League" seem pretty kind, right? Vick has been ordered away from Falcons camp, and the team will await more details before they inevitably will release him. What a nice story.
Tim Donaghy, the ref who bet on the NBA, is from my town and graduated Villanova University, my alma mater. Awesome. Glad he did Villanova proud...
That being said, I think the long-term impact of this is being overstated. Columnists and talking heads, including my favorite, Bill Simmons, have insinuated that this will have far reaching effects. That, every time we see a bad call in any sport, we will think the ref is gambling, or that the sacred trust of sports has been broken. Also being championed is this idea, that officials will be forever doubted.
To those who believe this, let me ask you something.
Every time a second baseman boots a ball, do you think he is throwing the game?
Every time a player hits a home run do we question if his bat is corked, or if he is on steroids?
No. In fact, with baseball, the steroid controversy had the opposite effect. We now assume that a player is not cheating since there was so much attention paid to it. We assume there is no way he would still have the balls to cheat.
The same thing will happen with gambling. Right now, it is the hot topic, and we will send out a lynch mob that will undoubtedly find more gambling in other sports. In a year from now, the topic will be so overblown and focused on, that any athlete, coach, official, or bat boy will be afraid to fill out their brackets, let alone bet on their sport. That is not to down play what Donaghy did, its terrible and makes you wonder how many games he affected, but it won't have the far reaching effects that many are predicting. He commited a criminal act, he didn't just do something that affected a recreational event like sports, he went out of his way to partner with the mob, bet, and blow calls - a lot of them. This is the exception, rather than the norm. Is it in the realm of possibility that this has happened before, or will happen again? Yes. But to think that aligning one's self with organzied crime, betting on, and throwing games in front of a national audience will become a common occurence, is a radical idea. And the argument that the referees aren't paid enough? Please. They make between 200k-300k a year and have the summers off. Using that logic, 95% of the population would be breaking the law to supplement their salary.
It ashame, this blog was founded on the principle of lauding and lampooning the elements around the game, but now we are talking about drugs, violence, and gambling. Hopefully this will blow over soon and maybe we can just get back to the game?
I am going down to Citizens Bank Park tonight and I am just looking forward to seeing Cole Hamels pitch.
In case you haven't noticed, the layout of Not The Game has changed. We switched to a blogspot server in order to better update our site, and provide a "comments" forum for our readers. We also now have RSS feeds and our stories can be read through Google, Yahoo, Bloglines etc.
Some of the old posts no longer have links, this is do to the transfer of stories from one page to another. If there are any popular links you would like to see, please e-mail me kyle@notthegame.com
Here are some links for the day, back tomorrow with more.
According to Slam Dunk Central, Kevin Durant is tearing it up on a team of stars. This reminds me of lasts night's game between the two squads of Team USA. It was really a glitz-less version of the NBA All-Star Game. It was played a little more fluidly, but really was just a dunkfest.
I also wanted to mention the irony that this year the NBA has held its Summer League in Vegas, All-Star Game in Vegas, and had all its players on Team USA play in Vegas. Giving the fact that the league is shrouded by a gambling controversy, don't you think maybe they should be conducting extra curricular activities in a less tempting local, say, Iowa? Ya know, where the tranquility of corn fields gives way to ghosts of, um, gambling, game throwing baseball players Shit... maybe they shouldn't choose Iowa.
Slam Dunk Central also has a blistering commentary on the scandal. As does Bill Simmons. A Not The Game must read.
According to NFL Gridiron Gab, Michael Vick might be released by the Falcons. Who let the dog out... woof woof. Too soon?
And finally, some breaking news, Bud Selig will NOT be in San Francisco for Barry Bond's record breaking home run. I think its less a matter of principle, and more a matter of laziness, since he was only in Milwaulkee because its his home town.
ESPN has been pumping up “The Bronx is Burning” for weeks now, so I decided to review the first of eight episodes. My first thought is why is shit always burning? First “Rome is Burning”, then Sebastian Telfair is walking “Through the Fire”, and now the Bronx is burning. ESPN really needs to find a new writer. What’s next? A story about the Rangers called “The Garden is Ablaze”? That would present a real problem since they need ice and all.
The opening video features a fast forward two years in the future at the end of Billy Martin's tenure. The whole sequence features splicing of real and acted clips. The continuity is good, but the video quality is drastically different between the 30 year old film and the current hi-def. This makes it a little hard to believe but there really is not much they can do.
John Turturro is playing Billy Martin, and I’m not so sure I get all the fuss about him. He is always overacting and seems like more of a caricature of Martin, just like he did as Howard Cossel. He is also leading off and playing center field for my “Why are the famous” team. Further teammates will join, but no doubt John is leading off. He has an impressive lineup of roles but in none of those was he like “wow” good. I just don’t get it. When people mention he is in a movie you are led to believe he is some big star, but he has never really played a role that made him an A-lister.
The opening credits are absolutely hilarious. It is Good Times meets a porno and by far this is the funniest part of the show. DYNOMITE. I’m not sure if the credits cheapened the show or added to the setting, but they certainly stand out.
Early in the episode George Steinbrenner meets with Reggie Jackson at the 21 Club in New York. I had one of those “Oh, I know where that is” moments. I stayed close to the restaurant and have walked right by it. The restaurant is also featured in “Two for the Money” when John Anthony meets the real Brandon Lang. If that isn’t significant to you, don’t worry- it’s a gambling thing.
Next up- a message from the heavens. For whatever reason I decided to not fast forward through the first commercial break on my DVR, and good thing I didn’t. To my amazement, there was a commercial for Mountain Dew featuring the “Chuck-Strich”. That’s right, Chuck Norris’ head on an ostrich. Glad to see Chuck is finally cashing in on all the Chuck Norris hype, but he’s a little late. It reached its pinnacle about a year ago with “Chuck Norris has two speeds: walk and kill”. He should have done a commercial acting some of these facts out- that’s what I would have done with Chuck. Hmm maybe he can promote Not The Game. Chuck Norris reads two blogs: Not The Game, and a second blog he can’t tell you because he would have to kill you. OK, maybe it needs work. Moving on.
I also want to take this time to point out Jason Giambi’s awkward cameo as a cab driver. His name was in the opening credits so it wasn’t a surprise, but I was still delightfully giddy at the sight of a former MVP playing a cabbie in a B-list TV mini-series about his own team. This seems like a good time to mentions OJ’s fro in Naked Gun. The best sports player appearance in a movie- ever.
As far as acting goes, ESPN Original Entertainment, or EOE as they like to call it, is always marred by horrible acting. Maybe it is because we know the personalities they are playing so well, that any acting seems like a caricature. I don’t know but I’m not sold on John Turturro’s performance. Reggie Jackson is well duplicated in the movie, but that is about it.
The storyline is good and fast paced, but the scenes about the Son of Sam seem like a forced necessity to create context for the film. It just doesn’t flow naturally. That being said, the show keeps you entertained and you can’t help but laugh at George Steinbrenner. We’ll have to see the rest of the series to give a final determination, but right now I’m giving it a Jamie Moyer- 5 ½ out of 10 K’s. Solid, but not overpowering.
K K K K K 1/2
-Dell Pregame show leaves a lot to be desired. It had the production quality of a midwestern news broadcast.
-Jeanne Zelasko kicks things off, or as I like to call her, preger-tits. She introduces Eric Byrnes on the water, he promptly kisses his dog. Man this guy is a media whore, but I like it, he brings an energy to the game and is enthusiastic about what he does. Hopefully they go to him more than Ken Rosenthal.
-Eric Karros is on, which draws a "nice hair" from my dad. What died on his head?
-Cameras in the clubhouse, that is a cool feature. I love it when broadcasts do this. It gives you an insight into the clubhouse which you never get to see and that is a welcome change from talking heads. Jim Leyland gave his "business is booming" speech, but the highlight is the translator trying to translate his mumbo jumbo to Okajima.
-Jeter and Griffey with Willie Mays. Starts off with Jeter talking about art, ya know, he's such an expert. They seem genuinely excited to be interviewing him. This kinda harkens to what baseball is all about, a lot of history, no other sport has this. The dripping oil paint behind them is a bit unnecessary but the stars in front of it distract it enough.
-Kevin Kennedy is talking about Willie Mays and he has yet to relate it to his Red Sox days. This is a record for him.
-Eric Karros is still struggling with english.
-Next up, the Taco Bell tee challenge. Absolutely the funniest part of the night. The guy, who looked relatively athletic, wouldn't have batted in the starting lineup for squirt team. How embarrassing. It took him until his third hit to reach, gasp, the infield. Well played sir.
-After that, Homer Simpson announces the team. So much "Not The Game" fodder my fingers can't keep up. "Chase Utley, why would I want to do that?" Funny stuff. Ahh Homer.
-I'm genuinely excited about the karaoke show, by the way. Its hosted by Wayne Brady, the best fake laugher in television history.
-Joe Buck, who sounds like God in surround sound, is announcing the starting lineups. Let's listen.
-The players now lineup in between first and second, and second and third. This is new. I kinda like it, it puts them in the center of the field more. Before they used to line up on the lines, and were kind of mixed in with photographers and stuff, this is much better.
-There is a ball mowed into the outfield grass but it looks like the silver surfer went by and left his mark, way ugly.
-Bonds get a big ovation, and around the rest of the country he gets muted. Talk about hometown crowd.
-My dad informs me that Petra Nemcova was caught in the Tsunami and it stripped her clothes off. Mmm.
-Chris Isaak is singing the national anthem. This is the most homoerotic singing of the ceremonial song I have ever heard. His partner looks like a 40 year old alcoholic with facial syphilis. What the hell?
After the song, the airplanes are late by about 15 seconds. This has never happened, I'm surprised it took so long. I mean, to time jets in the air with the subjective timing of a live song, its amazing this doesn't happen more. Oh well, it gave time for Zeanne Zelasko to feed her kids.
-Now the Willie Mays tribute. Classy. He throws the ceremonial first pitch to Jose Reyes and then signs the ball and gives it to Reyes. Whelp, if his career goes downhill, we'll see that on Ebay in a few years along with Manny's grill.
-Ok, now the funniest moment of the night. I don't like to make fun of old people, but Willie Mays, the "Say Hey Kid" is throwing balls into the net behind home!!! HE DOESN'T SEE THE NET! He's trying to throw them to the crowd, but there is the interlaced net behind home in the way! Cut to commercial! Done. Moving on.
BEER 1.
-Eric Byrnes is in the water. He is either drunk or on E. The guy should have been an all-star, instead he is sitting in the bay, behind the stadium, in a wetsuit, with his bulldog Bruin. He should not be so happy, this is not an upgrade.
-In the top of the 1st, Prince Fielder drops Chase Utley's throw that would have been the end of the inning. He is in the lead for the boner of the week award.
-Tim McCarver is talking about Russell Martins father, (seen here) who plays music on the street for money. McCarver says there is a name for this. Yeah, a bum.
-Shh. Utley is up.
-Shit, Ken Rosenthal.
BEER 2.
-Dane Cook announces a commercial for the postseason. Finally, baseball gets a little hip.
-Bonds is up for the second time, and there is a crawl with all of his numbers on the screen. This is unique, and would only be done for Bonds in an all-star game. It fails to mention how many needles though.
That was the cheap shot for the day.
-After Bonds flies out to right, he cracks a joke to Cole Hamels in the dugout, who is thoroughly giddy at the interaction. Then he checks out Bonds.
-JOE BUCK
"Beckett has been bothered by an a situation on his pitching hand. With an avulsion to the middle finger on his right hand, which is a blister, weak skin, or eczema. He uses Stan's Rodeo Ointment to treat it."
THANKS JOE!.
Joe: "Let's go down to Jose Mota. Jose."
Jose: "It gonna rain!"
-Now a lengthy discussion about Barry Bonds and steroids. This is not the place for this. They are hypotheticalizing how many people were on steroids during the 90's. This is a joke. They are having a discussion that belongs in a bar, not on the air, from the broadcasters, during the all-star game. Disgrace.
WOW. A surreal sequence. First Erick Brynes pushes his dog off a boat to go fetch a baseball, then the dog doesn't go after the ball and starts swimming across the bay, Joe Buck warns that there are groups lining up at Fox's door, then Ichiro hits the first inside the park homerun in all-star game history. Just watch.
-Still can't get over what just happened. "My dog has gone adrift." Priceless.
-Shameless plug by Fox for wifi at AT&T Park, with their logo showing up on screen. Fox is a whore.
Paula Cole is hooking up her keyboard on the field. Whatever happened to just, um, singing?
HOLY CHRIST WHAT THE HELL HAPPEND TO PAULA COLE?!?!
They are having technical difficulties. No sound, the stadium is silent.
20 seconds. Still nothing.
30.
Boos.
40.
THIS IS LIVE! PAULA, WE ARE LIVE ON NATIONAL TV!.
Her keyboard player is not wearing a bra. Upgrade.
Paula is not wearing a bra. Downgrade.
Finishing off Beer 2 by the end of the song, her tits are starting to look good...
BEER 3.
-"Definitely worth the wait." Nice save Joe.
-This is an absolutely horribly produced game. Chris Isaak and Paula Cole? Not to mention multiple flaws during the game with cameras, and audio. If this were China, the producer would be executed.
-Ok this is getting long. The game ends with the American League winning 5-4, after it got close.
-A pretty eventful game with all that went on.
The NBA Draft is always entertaining, and it meets all three Not The Game criteria. 1) It features extensive television coverage, with a lot of analysts. 2) Features interviews and stories about players and their personal lives. 3) Has a lot of technological achievements, such as the way the information is streamed across the screen, and of course, players on cell phones, which is ALWAYS fun.
-We get ushered into the Draft (I’m starting at the 7 o’clock preview show because this is when the talking heads start) by some extremely light footed music. So far, not good.
-The lineup for tonight:
Mike Tirico
Jay Bilas
Screamin A. Smith
Marc Jackson
Stuart Scott (hugs and hand pounds)
Lisa Salters
Dick Vitale (from his home, tough job)
Andy Katz
Rick Bucher
Sal Paolontonio
Rachel Nichols (in black)
Jim Grey
Fran Fraschilla (reporting on all the foreign players no one else cared about seeing)
Phew. That is an intense lineup, and overkill really. Do we really need 13 commentators on a draft? I need to see if this outdid the NFL Draft, I doubt it.
-Where is Dan Patrick? Maybe his spat with David Stern last year kept him out. HERE.
-First of many Steven Aisms. (if you see random quotes without attribution its Steven A.)
“If you’re not gonna win, you might as well make money while losing.”
-Apparently Lenovo has branded every computer at the draft with their logo in size 456 font. Why do draft picks need to have computers in the green room? Do you think they are iming each other? Reading tuckermax.com? Who knows, but its unessacary. What’s next, videogames at their tables?
-Durant’s Mom makes sure his mouth is clean. Priceless.
-The song for the night, “It End Tonight”, by All-American Rejects. Not Bad but I’m not sure this is appropriate for the NBA Draft.
-Joakim Noah is wearing his Sunday best His dad is a no show (cool), but his mom is there. :-)
-Now they have an All-American Rejects song from a Disney album. Ok please, this is enough. I’m waiting for the Wiggles to play at the next commercial break.
-David Stern is out to kick off the Draft. ESPN decides to go with no bugs on the screen at all HERE, not even the “espnhd” sides. Why is this not broadcast in hd? They are just wasting space on the sides. HERE HERE. I do somewhat like the format, but the “whats next” scroll bars are a bit confusing. I do childishly enjoy the moment when MIL, MIN, MIA, and MEM are the four teams on the side. Moving on.
-Draft is officially under way, and the bugs and framing are back. The grey sides make it look better, and this is helping me get over the fact that the video is only about a 1/3 of the screen.
-7:35- Steven A. is petulant.
“You can’t teach 7 foot. YOU can’t TEACH 7 foot.”
Can you teach 7 foot?
-Oden gets picked an announces to Stuart Scott that he wears hand sanitizer. Is that seriously what was going through his mind before he got picked? Man, this guy is quirky. I guess its safe to give a hug and hand pound now, right Stu?
-The Celtics now have Ray Allen, and Allan Ray on their team :-) I once was covering a Villanova game and a student reporter from LaSalle asked Allan Ray if people ever confused him with Ray Allen. Now they are on the same team. Ironic.
-Al Horford is picked by the Hawks, and his dad waves a Dominican flag. Priceless.
-7:55- Celtics deal agreed to, Bill Simmons hangs himself. HERE
-The Chinese sporting authority does not want Yi Jianlianianlianianialianian to go to Milwaulkee, which prompts my friend Matt to say “Who the hell are they?” In all seriousness, can this start World War III? We are already looking for reasons to go after China, can this be the tipping point? Just play ball kid.
Yi speaks horrible English, and has the personality and intensity of Rip Taylor. This guy is going to be a really soft player. He has handlers. Enough said.
-Rachel Nichols is in Charlotte for the second straight year. This is because of one of two reasons.
1) She lives in Charlotte
2) She’s sleeping with Michael Jordan
-Jay Bilas with a great line, “Michael Jordan should have worn a mask when he made this pick, because that was a steal”.
-Brandon Wright says, “I don’t think Jordan wants any right now”.
Two hours later, he was traded.
-Mike Tirico announces that Spencer Hawes has a “God Bless George Bush” bumper sticker. Is he trying to get the guy killed?
-There is a petulant gnome walking players up to the stage. Could they have found a shorter person to walk up 6’7 people?
-Acie Law says he has a “Great set up of parents.” Like he is going for a higher "Parents" rating in NBA Live '08. He also says he has been working on his Draft pose for years. So he came up with this? The thumbs up?
-“Everyone knows Mo Cheeks can coach”
He can?
-The Lebron commercial is really good, I’m convinced he’s a good actor. The part where he looks at his agent and bites his lip is actually good acting, I’m telling you, he’s hilarious.
-The Nets now have a team with Marcus Williams and Sean Williams. This is dangerous for society. Its rare that NBA teams combine theft, and drugs. If its been done before, this site will tell us. HERE
-Marco Bellinelli, tall Italian dude. How many times do you think this guy gets laid? Good looking Italian pro basketball player in America? He is a panty dropper in a suit.
-Dick Vitale wonders if Lakers pick Javaris Crittetnon can handle New York City. Why? Does he vacation there?
-Transcript of parts of Jim Grey’s relentless Interview with Mitch Kupchak.
Kupchak: “We did acknowledge we had a meeting. And it was a week ago”
Grey: “Did you bet on baseball?”
Grey: “By saying no, you are saying Kobe can be traded?”
Grey: “Did you bet on baseball?”
-And to end the first round, my hometown Philadelphia 76ers do this.
Traded Daquean Cook, a 2nd round pick in 2009, and money for a lesser player. Then they drafted Petteri Koponen, a Finnish guard.
All with in the span of 3 minutes.
Great.
